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This Christmas, Cherish Your Loved Ones

This Christmas, cherish your loved ones.

I'm thankful for my family every day of the year, but I rarely ever actively think about my thankfulness for individual relatives. This year of hardships and trials has made me more grateful than ever for even the small things in my life like having a car, having food to eat, and having a house to call home. These are small things to me, but they can be massive things in other people's lives. I normally spend the fall season being thankful for the little things, but this year I've been exceptionally thankful for bigger things. I'm especially thankful for my family this year.

My dad's mother—my grandmother—passed away in April this year after contracting the COVID-19 virus in her assisted living facility.

I had not seen her since Christmas of 2019. I loved every moment I spent with her around the holidays last year, but I had no idea that would be the last time I got to see her. I was so heartbroken that I didn't even tell anyone when she caught the virus. I didn't know how to respond or react. I knew it would probably be fatal for her solely because of her age. She had no underlying health conditions and was only on 2 kinds of daily pills. She was otherwise incredibly healthy and fit for her age.

There was a small graveside service, and only about 10 of my family members came.

The service didn't do her justice, and the pastor who gave it didn't know her personally. She deserved so much more recognition for her kind heart and gentle demeanor. I cried ceaselessly for a week right before final exams. I was so busy with school, but I couldn't hardly focus knowing that she was gone because of something so preventable. I blamed myself even though I knew it was useless. This year, she wasn't at our family's Thanksgiving, and she won't be at our Christmas either. I miss the spunk she'd developed over the last few years after my grandfather's death.

This year, I'm going to cherish the time I have left with my mom's dad—my grandfather.

He was just recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I know all of the horrible things that come with cancer, and I know that pancreatic cancer is virtually untreatable because it goes unnoticed until it's too late. But every day since his diagnosis, I've been intentionally thankful for him. I wasn't able to go with my mom to Tennessee to be with him because of classes, but even from home, I've been remembering all of his stories from his childhood and all of the fun times we've shared.

This year, to be blunt, has been the year from hell, not just because of being on lockdown but because of the ways in which my family has suffered.

The lockdowns were nothing compared to the stress I've been under since the start of the pandemic. Even though I hate heartbreak, death, and sadness, I am choosing to be grateful through this season. It won't be easy not having my grandma with us, but I'm thankful that my grandpa still has time here. Once my exams are finished, I will be spending a lot of time with him and my grandma, and I'm so thankful to know that they have each other right now during such a difficult time. This Christmas and all the days leading up to it and after it, I will be intentionally thankful for the time I get to spend with my grandpa and the time I spent before his diagnosis.

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